Daters Blog

Dating Online Safety – Izzy Schumacher The online dating Guru©

September 2008. - Internet Safety

Dear Diary,

This week I decided to share a story involving today's changing dating etiquette, as I think it brings up some information that many of us could benefit from. A few months back, one of my clients came to me for advice regarding a man she had met through an Internet dating service. They had been communicating for a while and had decided to meet in person. My client was a little concerned about the best and safest way to do that. I am seriously becoming Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, however finding our Mr.Big may not be as conventional as it used to be.

It can be a daunting, even a dangerous step to meet a potential suitor in person when your sole communication has been via the telephone or computer. This type of scenario is more and more common in the dating world and, as a result, I think it is wise to take some basic practical and protective measures in such situations. I shared them with my client and now I would like to share with you.

Top Ten - Safety MUSTS for online daters.

1. First, do not get into a car with someone you've only had interaction with over the Internet and/or telephone, and do not tell that person where you live.

2. It is a much better idea to schedule an initial face-to-face meeting in a very public place.

3. Meet for a latte or lunch date in daylight as a best first option.

4. I also recommend informing a friend or family member about the details of this first meeting, such as where you are going and what time you expect to return.

5. Keep a clear head by not indulging in alcohol on a first date.

6. Pay your half of any bill incurred for meals or the cinema, etc.

7. Last but not least, follow your instinct and gut feelings in such situations, regardless of how nice and calm a person may seem outwardly.

8. If you do engage in sex with them please use protection, as you will never know how many other partners that they meet and sleep with from the net.

9. Never let them take you home or go to their home for a first meeting.

10. Relax but be mindful, do not take people on face value, unfortunately people lie to get what they want. It is much easier to lie online and create an alter ego. In real life, this can happen too however you can verify facts more readily should you need to.

My client later told me how grateful she was for my advice. She felt better just having practical information to follow. Apparently, her planned date didn't work out. However, she followed these same guidelines with other potential dating suitors and did meet a gentleman who turned out to be someone she connected with and felt good about. The last time I spoke with her, she reported that they had been "real-life" dating for two months and that it was going well.

This dating advice is good and essential safety for both males and females. The Internet is a great place to meet a variety of people, but common sense and a few protective measures can make for a safer experience and will help avoid a negative or dangerous situation.

I hope that you will employ these basic safety steps and find the information useful. Please share it with others who do use the Internet as a social network and for dating online.

Good Luck

Izzy